We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
