brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
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