Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
