Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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