This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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