What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
