she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
