You made me cry and you don't even care
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
