fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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