worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
