the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
