He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
