is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
