y did u give ur computer a hand job?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
