Umm I'm too high to move.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
