He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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