Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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