if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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