First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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