Do vagina's smell?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
