i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
