i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
