His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Can I color on your dick again?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
