remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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