my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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