we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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