theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
