Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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