I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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