Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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