he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
