And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
