you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Randomize
