We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
