she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
