oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Dicks are not precious.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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