I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
