I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
