i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Randomize
