My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
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