yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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