Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
