fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
