Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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