i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize