there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
