I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
