Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
