I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Randomize
