I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
