Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
