"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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