we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
