I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
kristin has been a bad kristin
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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