Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
nutella sex= disaster
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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