I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
